Patsy's nikki .036 -a tribute to my wing man este wing girl..-

alex, originally uploaded by patsy_p.

Alex a.k.a my nokia 2300 phone has been with me since 2005 O.o' yep such a long time... I named her Alex (and dont ask me why 'cause i can't answer that, i dont know where that name came from.)
I bought a new phone last Wed. May 6, 2009 a RAZR2 V8 phone.
As my wingman/girl, she has been with me through thick and thin. 4 heartbreaks, 3 deaths, Graduations, fall outs, fights, gossips, fun times, 4 christmases, 4 new years, 3 valentines, 3 bdays... nyways... Thanks.. and now that she's not my primary phone.... sometimes i miss her.... awww... still i can't let her go..so i gave her a new role.. as my sun sim carrier.. hahaha...

those words...

" i love you..." those words i can't even say it right. i've told you alot of jokes, and stories but it never slipped by.. "i love you" i've always wanted to tell you that, but it seems like i'm going to die. kiss of death, i know what will happen if i let this go and you'd know... it's never going to be the same.
i said it once but you never listened, if i said it twice it will hurt more than you know. i know what you will say, i've been playing it a thousand times in my head. but in time that you finally know the truth. let me say this... in all those chapters in my life from 1-3 i've never loved anyone like this more anyone else.. i've learned to remove my pride, to roll with the punched, and to give all that you have and more.... so there i just want to say.. "i love you..."

DELE the countdown

all work and no play.. as what the master said.. countdown to DELE now begins.. need to review the basics to refresh my mind... i know how clouded my mind is nowadays.. and i need to focus on the more important things but somehow there is a big storm in my head.. i know it will be over soon but i just cant get it right and now the feeling is coming back again.. i've felt this way before then i let everything go to free myself.. i made some decisions in my life that got hurt... "it all comes in packages..." i knew that but somehow, something is not right.. and now i'm back to the person i never wanted to be.... i'm not like this.. i need to be strong.. this is just one bump in then road.. even if you've loved too much..

2 beers and 2 wise friends

after two bottles of beer... I finally came into my senses...

after these words my life turned upside down and back to the ground... my sanity was again saved..

"Let go of the things that makes you unhappy..." one of them said.

"you're doing this to your self... you always invest too much emotion..." the other said...

there are things that I've been seeing but afraid to see... afraid to see the truth because of the light of hope that's been burning all this time... and one blow in the head may make you realize that when reality is in front of you never ever ignore it...

reality is your best friend.


The only one at fault here is me.

the sign was given.

but still I'm too stubborn to listen....






but after two beers and words of wisdom... I finally realize all this time... I'm the one who's hurting myself....















I'll just stop breathing and maybe I won't feel anything.... even for a fraction of a time...




now that I'm back in the ground... I need to turn this car around and drive on a different direction...